Repentance and Refreshment
“Therefore repent and turn back, that your sins may be wiped out so that seasons of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”
Acts 3:19
I was really encouraged by this verse the other day. I think in a lot of ways, my life and my heart have been on autopilot for quite some time. The two biggest things that result from me cruising through life on autopilot are that (1), small areas of well-entrenched sin are able to exist in my life with very little resistance or discomfort, and (2), I can start to think of myself more highly than I ought, and become convinced that I’ve got my life under control, I know what I’m doing, I know where I’m going, and I know how to get there.
Small areas of sin in my life can be so difficult to overcome. I know there are attitudes I’ve embraced, habits I’ve formed, or bitternesses I’ve maintained that the Lord wants to deal with and root out; but over time, if I allow those things to go unchecked, or if I allow myself to justify those attitudes and behaviors, I develop a sense of comfort with these things. Though I may have had a sensitive conscience towards bitterness in the beginning, or towards slander and gossip, over time, if I allow those things to be a consistent part of my life, I find a way to become comfortable with them. It’s as though I sear my own conscience. In this way, I desperately need a soft, repentant heart so that God may wipe out, or annihilate the sin in my life. And this is for my good, that I may experience seasons of refreshing in the presence of the Lord. Ever feel burned out? Sometimes what we need most is a soft, repentant, teachable spirit, and to turn back and remember where we came from, so God can deal with our sin and we can experience seasons of refreshing in His presence.
In terms of feeling like I’ve got life by the tail, and this place figured out, the biggest reason it is destructive is that I stop operating on faith, and start operating according to my own agenda. When that happens, I can have such a hard time stooping low, being humble before the Lord, and walking humbly alongside brothers and sisters. It’s actually a pretty miserable place to be; I don’t think anyone enjoys being proud. But if I’m convinced in my heart that I’ve got things under control, or that I know what I’m doing, it’s incredible how quickly I lose the soft, teachable, repentant spirit I first came to the Lord with. I look really fondly on the days when everything was new, when I had no idea what life had in store, but I was just excited to spend it with the Lord, and I was more than happy to give him the reigns and let him lead the way. I don’t want those days to always be in the rear view mirror.
